You don't realize you changed that much.

When you go over there the first firefight is like "ugh"

and then you get over that and you think that wasn't so bad

and then it goes on and it keeps escalating.

And next thing you know every day is more intense,

spun up a little bit more.

You come back and you don't realize you changed that much.

Some of the things that I had problems with was sleeping.

Seemed like I was quick to anger.

Things that made some people really excited didn't even cause

a ripple in the pond to me.

Other times I would go ballistic over nothing.

I didn't like hanging around.

Never was really a huge mall guy but just the whole idea

of a crowd thing was just too overwhelming.

You find yourself going out in large crowds whether it's to go

out to eat or go to a movie

and you spend all your time analyzing everybody

around you and assessing them.

It's like after awhile it just gets to be too much.

You go, "Ah, I just don't want to go out,"

and you start making excuses.

So hypervigilance was a bad thing, anxiety and anger

and then I was having a terrible time with sleep.