When you spend your whole life avoiding, you're no longer living.

My substance abuse

and my PTSD symptoms.

I use substances to go numb.

So, yeah, I wouldn't say

it would completely vanish

my PTSD symptoms,

but when you stay awake

for five days

at a time on cocaine,

you don't fall asleep.

You pass the hell out.

And I didn't remember

my nightmares

at that point because

I was so physically exhausted.

My symptoms

got exceedingly worse over time

because I was not dealing

with my problems.

I spent my life in an avoidance.

So when you spend

your whole life avoiding,

you're no longer living.

You're just...

I was a slave to the drug.