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What if I tell my [family] this? How are they going to treat me?

Michael Allison (US Marine Corps, 1999-2007) worried about how his family would react if they knew what he had done in the context of war.

Transcript

I would go back and I would
think back and reflect on man,

did I do this? Should I have
done that?

What could I have done?

How am I going to be judged
on judgment day?

How...what if I tell
my mom this?

Or if I tell my brothers
and sisters this,

how are they going to treat me?

What if I go back
and tell my girlfriend this

would she want to lay
in the bed next to me?

Or she is going to think
that I'm going to hurt her?

Or how is he going to treat our
kids? Those types of things.

All of these different scenarios
was playing inside of my head

where that led me to be
in an isolation

where I didn't want
to be around,

I didn't want to be
in a relationship.

I did not want to be around
certain types of people.

I didn't want to share

certain types of stories
around people

because the fear of

just being judged
and being in a space where

all of my loved ones
are going to leave me,

all of my friends
are going to leave me,

and I didn't really
want that life.

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