[Suspicion] becomes not only mentally exhausting, but changes who I am at work [and] at home.

So I found that the

symptoms of my PTSD caused me

to be very suspicious

of most male interaction.

So I found that

I had developed a

a fear or a bias with men.

So it wasn't a question of

if a man was going

to be inappropriate.

It was a

question of when

And having that

level of suspicion

just living within me,

with every male interaction

in a male dominated career field

becomes not only

mentally exhausting, but

changes who I am

at work, at home,

professionally, personally.

And so I find that

I am able to have

better relationships

I think I thought I

was able to have better

relationships with men

when I had a couple of drinks.