Transcript
The nightmares that I deal with are the main problem.
No matter what, I don't sleep.
I try, I'm lucky if I can get two, maybe four hours.
Four hours would be a very good night.
And that's, I've been prescribed medication to actually
help me sleep, and I can still wake up from that
and be wide awake, ready to rock-and-roll, go to work,
run a PFT, you name it, I'm good to go shortly after.
I, dare I say I'm afraid to sleep, I'm terrified of sleep.
And it's the same kind of terrifying-ness that kids get
when they watch "Alien" for the first time
and they shouldn't have, and they are afraid
that thing's going to pop out of their chest.
It's the same thing, except it's not a space monster
popping out of their chest, it's watching one of my friends
get killed, it's smelling the burning of my own flesh
off my bone, even though these things never happened,
this is what I deal with.
It's like walking through Dante's Inferno, but instead of it
being hell and sinners, it's just Iraq and war,
a much worse war than I actually experienced.
And I don't know why that is, if it's an overactive
imagination or if it's simply my own subconscious
or something going with this idea and taking it to
an extreme logical end or whatever, but it's what plays out
when I close my eyes at night, and it keeps me up,
and I am terrified of it.