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My alcoholism became worse.

Robert Murphy, US Army 1966 - 1969, talks about how he knew he had PTSD.

Transcript

I continued to deal with it through alcohol abuse.

"I wasn't an alcoholic.

I was an alcohol abuser," that's what I told myself.

It allowed me to continue my behaviors, it allowed me

to justify my behaviors and myself

to my family members, to my peers.

And I ran with combat Vets so consequently I could look

at the other ones and say, "Hey, they're worst than me.

I'm fine. I haven't got a problem."

1980, the Agent Orange issue came up.

VA started the VA Outreach Vet Centers.

I went down there looking for Agent Orange information

because I had been contaminated and I backdoored

in to PTSD not knowing what it was.

I didn't want to deal with it.

I just wanted to be numb.

I wanted to be left alone.

I didn't know how to deal with it.

Things got worse.

My alcoholism became worse

and I had finally hit a major bottom in 1985.

My last drunk was January the 5th of 1985 and I never forget

that because I don't want to go back there.

It nearly cost me my life.

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