Transcript
I built my own home.
I built it for me.
This is my place to come and rejuvenate.
It's the most peaceful place I know on Earth.
This is where I get my energy to go out and help other Veterans.
I do a lot of things for other people that I couldn't do before.
The first 18 years I was home, I did fairly well.
And then everything went downhill in a quick fashion.
Everywhere I went was overwhelming.
As soon as I got into a store, post office,
even a friend's home, I had to get out.
I moved 30 times in 18 years.
I would get used to some place and then not like that
people knew my patterns, people knew where I lived, who I was,
and I would get up and move.
My home used to be as difficult to be in as anywhere else.
I would feel like I was in a fish bowl
and in the crosshairs of a sniper.
Intellectually, I knew there was no VC in my yard,
there's no VC snipers in the wood line.
But my emotions told me that it felt like there were,
and I was fearful to go outside in the daylight.
I was fearful to stand at my kitchen sink with a light over me
unless there was a blind and a shade shut.
Nighttime, for me, was sleeping in a recliner,
one or two hours, every other day.
And I slept with a loaded weapon and a survival knife.
A bug on the screen would wake me up in the summer,
a log popping in the wood stove would wake me up in the winter,
so sleep was almost non-existent.
I couldn't get Vietnam out of my mind for a second,
and that's when I sought treatment.
In therapy, I learned to connect my intellect more with my emotions
because there was a total disconnect.
I learned, through going over and over it again in therapy
and to myself at home, to keep reinforcing the fact that I am safe.
I brought the war home inside me, but there aren't VC in my yard.
It took a lot of hard work and a lot of time in therapy,
and through understanding PTSD, I have a great life now.
I'm happy.
I'm not depressed.
I have some anxiety problems, but I have no panic attacks.
I can go and do anything I want, any time I want.
To all my brothers and sister Veterans,
there's hope for you because there's treatment for PTSD.
I had a profound case, and I am doing well.
And it was a lot of work,
but when you start feeling better, you will feel the rewards,
and it just gets easier and easier after that.