Transcript
- [Voiceover] The in vivo process is actually puttin'
yourself in an experience that you know is uncomfortable
and stayin' in it to the point of feelin' uncomfortable
without bailing out, so that you can be
less and less uncomfortable as you expose yourself
to that environment or that experience.
(tense music)
My in vivos I chose was goin' into a part of town
where I knew a substantial amount
of Middle Eastern people lived
and going into a restaurant,
at first just sitting there.
And I'd bring my own water
and my own drink or whatever, and I'd sit there.
And
I vowed from within myself, I'm gonna stay there
at least 45 minutes.
I'm not gonna leave.
(anxious music)
Within 15 minutes, (laughs)
my anxiety was high.
(fan whirs)
(portentous music)
I brought a hand towel with me, so that I can wipe my face.
I didn't wanna show everyone else that I was feelin' this.
I held my hands tight under the table,
so that
the fidgeting wouldn't be apparent.
This scar on my hand here
was from all of the anxiety I felt
'cause I would constantly rub it.
(clock ticks)
I got to 30 minutes, started slightly easin' up.
The first time, honestly, at 45 minutes, I got up and left.
(clock ticks)
It worked.
It did.
In vivo process worked for me.
It helped me rearrange my thought process
that got jumbled up.
My whole pattern in my life was messed up.
I had to put those boxes back
the way they were supposed to be.
For me to go in a Middle Eastern restaurant today,
I actually welcome it.
My core has been reestablished, I could say that.
My core was reestablished to where I was before
that I don't have any hatred in my heart.
I don't have any reason to hate.
It was very helpful.