It's pretty much going against what your morals are.

It's pretty much going
against what your morals are,

you know,

of what your standards are and
you know how you value yourself.

And, you know, when

you just want to,
you know, save people.

You know, that’s why

I joined the Marine Corps
to be a part of something

bigger than myself and to help
others around the world.

You know, when you 
can't help people

and you can't and you're
losing your friends and,

you know, other people
that you were close with,

I it it goes against everything
that you wanted.

You know, it goes against why
you joined the military.

You join - I joined to 
save people.

And instead of saving people,
I'm losing people.

So that completely turned
my whole world upside down.

And I just, you know, 
started to lose hope.