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It's not always pretty...It was worrisome.

Mary Martin, US Air Force 1981 - 2005, talks about how her PTSD affected her loved ones.

Transcript

They didn't really know what was going on with me.

They didn't know if it was aging, or am I depressed,

or that kind of thing, and until, finally, one day my son

stopped me in mid-sentence, and he said, "You know Mom,

it used to be that you only brought the Colonel out

when it was absolutely necessary,

and now that's your go-to mode.

What's going on with you?"

And I was shocked because when I bring out the Colonel mode,

there is no question that the Colonel is there.

And it's not always pretty.

Colonel mode is

"You'll do it my way, or it won't be done at all,"

"I know what the answer is,"

"This is not acceptable,"

"Just get it done."

I was a good officer.

I had a great command of what the rules were,

and if you stepped aside from those rules

then I had no problem telling you, even in a nice way.

But when it's your family, they don't want to be told to

"Grow me some hair,"

or "You're doing the wrong thing with your children,"

or that kind of stuff, so it was worrisome.

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