Transcript
PE is, it's hard.
It's hard to sit there and close your eyes and talk
as though it's presently happening.
I could feel as we were getting closer and closer to the event,
for the first time I started having flashbacks.
When I'd walk away from that session,
I'd get just a quick image of the car coming towards us
but it would just be a flash and I'd kind
of get an adrenaline rush but I didn't understand what,
it was just a fraction of a second.
The day that we had our breakthrough, I guess,
as we were talking about it,
all of a sudden the scene just opened up before me
for the first time since it happened five years ago.
I had a very physical reaction to it,
just like a panic attack almost.
It was hard to, I started hyperventilating.
It unlocks the ugly stuff but it's in there and it's eating
at you anyway so you have to, it's better to just purge it
in your therapist's office.
[laughs] Honestly, it felt like a weight off
of my shoulders after.
That day was phenomenal.
You have to record it, you have to listen
to it during the week, in between sessions.
I had to keep going back and listening
to it 'cause it was just such a phenomenal occurrence.
It taught me that I really don't understand mental health.
There is a science behind it.
There are things that can happen to the chemistry in your brain
that you cannot control.
You can't will it away.
You can't, you don't even understand why it is occurring.
I wasn't taking medication at the time,
it was just working through the stuff.
So it was, it's hard but nothing worthwhile is ever easy I guess,
so.