It was time for the rescuer to be rescued.

I came to the realization

that I needed assistance,

that I needed to see someone

when I was at my lowest point,

by myself,

with myself, on purpose.

I had pushed away

my children, my friends.

I did not want to

engage with anyone.

I did not want to

have the possibility

of having another failure.

It was unsustainable.

I was thinking that maybe

my life wasn't worth living.

I came to the realization

that I was having thoughts

that I was a complete failure,

and that I did not need

to be around anymore.

When I got to that point,

I spoke to a friend of mine,

fellow veteran,

and he included his experiences,

and he made me realize

that it was time for the

rescuer to be rescued.