Transcript
I'm a native New Yorker,
I'm a Bronx girl.
And if you know anything about New York,
it's a cultural melting pot
where we respected everyone's culture.
Racism doesn't exist in my vocabulary.
When I joined the military,
I knew that I was gonna
have certain experiences,
but how I was treated as a Hispanic woman,
it was almost like I was less than.
When I joined the military in the '90s,
it was a more Caucasian-dominant,
what we called salty old dogs,
middle-aged White Caucasian men,
or White Caucasian women
that had a point to prove,
that they measure up to their counterpart.
So here I am, this boisterous, vivacious,
Puerto Rican girl from the Bronx.
And man, I was the biggest target ever,
because my tone of voice was wrong,
how I spoke was wrong.
It was racially charged.
When I decided to join the Navy,
I had such pride and honor.
I was gonna be a lifer,
I was gonna do 20 years.
I think I did four years,
10 months, and some change.
I was sexually assaulted twice.
So I have PTSD from that.
(bicycle chain whirring)
And my first sexual assault
happened when I was in Illinois,
in Great Lakes.
Yes, it was racially charged.
When I think of the assailants,
there was so many emotions
I just did not know how to deal with them.
I felt such shame.
And when I came home,
it was like I had failed.
I felt lost.
I was pretty much drinking
a fifth of vodka a day,
tossing it back like water.
I mean, in my culture, we
don't disrespect our parents.
And the first time I had that outburst
where I said the most nastiest
things to my mother (sobs),
I knew then, there was
something really wrong,
'cause they didn't deserve that.
My younger sister was maybe
about 10 or 12 years old,
and I understand why my mother said,
"Okay, no, pack your stuff,
and you gotta get out,
because if I'm gonna lose
you three sheets to the wind,
I can't lose her as well."
Once I found out that I was
pregnant, I stopped drinking.
I was like, okay, I gotta
get my shit together.
I had my daughter.
But then once I went back to work,
and the stress of working, I
went right back to the bottle.
My mom looked at me and she said,
"Okay, Marlene, enough,
we gotta get you in."
So with EMDR, I was able to process
a lot of the trauma,
and we actually got to the
heart of where my bitterness,
and anger came from.
And once we went through
that process, oh my God,
it it was almost like, here's the trauma,
here's an envelope,
put it in the envelope,
and we sealed it, it's done.
The trauma's happened,
you can never forget it,
but the emotions attached
to it is what we deal with.
So EMDR helps you, I
don't wanna say detach,
but kind of process those
emotions, understand what that is,
and then put it to bed.
Not only was I able to live again,
I was able to go back to
school, get my degree.
I'm engaged to be married now.
I have found my new normal.
I have been able to come back to who I am,
and these experiences that I've had
has made me the woman I am today.