I was sleeping with a pistol underneath my pillow

If I went someplace, I had my back up against the wall.

I'd always make sure I knew where the door was.

I'd be hyper-vigilant. I'd always look around.

I had the feeling that someone

or something was gonna come out after me.

That's the way I felt.

And for so many years,

it just got to be second nature.

It was just that I was always hyper-vigilant.

I had to have my bed pointed a certain way.

I couldn't have it away from the door.

I had to have it at the door.

I was sleeping with a pistol underneath my pillow.

I had another pistol in the living room.

I had a knife in the kitchen,

to where I could get at it if I needed it.

I mean, for me that was normal..