I was constantly on guard.

I quit going to crowded areas.

I used to love to walk the National Mall,

or go into the museums, or go to different venues

in and around Washington.

I just quit going

because I couldn't enjoy it, I didn't enjoy it.

I was constantly on guard, looking around,

watching everybody's movement.

And something that a lot of people can relate to probably is

I still have a hard time going into a restaurant

and not sitting with my back to the wall,

sitting out in the middle of the floor.

I'm getting better, and it's taken a long time,

but still, given a preference, I will sit with my back

against the wall, able to watch the windows and the door.