Transcript
I pushed everyone away.
And they didn't necessarily know why, but I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the outbursts.
I'm sorry for pushing you away and not letting you hug me.
I didn't know, I didn't know how badly
the PTSD had impacted me.
So, I feel really bad for what I've done to my family.
I've cut them off.
I never told them what happened.
I just, I turned to drinking, and they got hurt, too.
That's not what I wanted.
As a result of me hiding things from not only myself,
I hid them from my family, too, and caused some damage there
that I wish I could take back.
You know, now I'd like to say to them,
"Now do you see why I acted like that?
Doesn't it make sense now?"
But back then I couldn't do that.
I was in the middle of it.
All they were trying to do was hug me,
and I couldn't even do that.
And we went from, I was like, we were a real huggy family.
So, for them to see me go from General Hug Me All the Time
because she's huggy to "Don't touch me,"
that was, they took it personally, I think.
And it wasn't about them, and I feel bad for that.