Transcript
It's really difficult
to be public about it.
It makes people very uncomfortable.
And of course, anybody who survives rape,
it's an uncomfortable
conversation and concept.
But if it's a guy, if it's a male,
it really becomes uncomfortable
because nobody knows what to say.
The VA statistic is 1 in 100 men report
that they've been a victim of MST.
There's 63,000 veterans
in western Massachusetts.
So that's 630 guys that
are walking around,
who are going through
the same stuff I did.
That's a lot of people.
That's a lot of people.
And I knew logically, I
wasn't the only one that it's
ever happened to.
But that's what it felt like.
When I discovered that the VA had
an all-male therapeutic group
it was really important for me
to participate in that group.
But, incredibly scary.
It changed my life
to go through it.
To know that there was
a guy who was a cop.
There was a guy who,
you know, was an athlete
and a big guy who, you
know, you'd never think
anything would happen,
but people find themselves
vulnerable at the wrong time.
And it happens.
There was a lot of shame
and a lot of embarrassment.
It messed me up a long time.
I went through things
that through my therapies,
I understand now.
I drank.
Ended up having a little
bit of a drug issue.
Which I'm not proud of,
but it killed the pain.
I was very sexually promiscuous.
It proved that I could be
sexually attractive to women.
The counseling that I've gotten
has helped me understand
it wasn't my fault.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
My biggest fear about telling my children
was I thought they'd be ashamed of me too.
But I also had to explain to them
and they embraced me.
They're all like, oh Dad,
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
In Massachusetts, every city and town
has to have a Veteran's Service Officer.
Someone who meets the
needs of the veterans
and their dependents
in whatever city or town they live in.
I've been doing that for almost 16 years.
And it is a very rewarding job.
I now deal with people who are survivors.
And I deal with men who are survivors.
And my staff came to me and said,
"I don't know what to say."
And I said, all you have to say is, "Geez,
I'm really sorry that happened to you.
We'll help you get through it.
I will help you get through it.
We're just going to get you what you need
and we'll do it together."
If it happens to you, go see somebody.
Go tell somebody.
It really was a relief
to finally tell somebody.
It really was.