I isolated myself from life.

Probably the most prominent thing that I realized

at first was I didn't, I trusted no one.

Absolutely zero trust even in my own family,

my own sons, my immediate family.

Friends that I had, lost total trust in my friends

because I felt like if I trusted somebody

and somewhat opened up, I was gonna get hurt.

I was gonna get screwed in the process.

This wasn't gonna work

and I didn't want to be around anybody.

So, I isolated myself from life totally.

I was a truck driver which suited me well.

I'm very much a loner and I like being alone.

I was on the road, three, four, five weeks at a time.

You're in the truck by yourself, got a lot of time

to think about these things.

And I found myself as the years rolled on,

I didn't want to be around anybody.

Don't go to the movies, too many crowds.

I don't want people sitting behind me, beside me.

You don't go to a baseball game, a ice hockey game.

You totally isolate yourself from the world.

And that's a horrible thing to live with that on a daily basis.

And at first, I accepted it and I thought, "It is what it is."

But after 10 or 20 years of this, it really,

really wears on you hard.

It gets worse.