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I didn't want to feel anything, and I had numbed out.

Mary C. Katie Weber, US Army 1993 - 1995, talks about how she knew she had PTSD.

Transcript

You know, I didn't want to feel anything and I had numbed

out for so long with pharmaceuticals

and anxiety medication and antidepressants and then I was

on opiates for back pain.

I was really using one avenue

to cure all my ailments and that was drugs.

And today I've realized that that was a very painful time

for me and it's very kind of good that I was

on all those things, those psychiatric medications,

because I was really depressed and I was really struggling.

There were times when I was suicidal.

But today and I would say it's taken me several years to come

to the conclusion that I prefer to be clean

and sober while I'm working through this process

and if there are things that my psychiatrist thinks

that would help me to cope with these things,

then that's what I would do.

But at this point, I'm managing OK without having

to take anything because feeling is actually really a good thing

if you've lived in your robe and haven't felt anything

for like 10 years like I have.

So I'm enjoying feeling things and crying.

[laughs]

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