Transcript
(slow, electronic music)
- There was definitely
concerns about going
to the CPT program.
I mean,
there was a fear of
what if I go in
and it brings back
a bunch of stuff
and I leave worse?
There was a fear about,
right now I can maintain
my life somewhat,
what if I go into this thing and
I can't maintain anymore?
That was probably
the biggest fear
about going into the
program, period, for me.
Coming out possibly
worse than I already was.
You know, it was just
do or don't.
So I chose to do.
Said I'd make a video
before I went to treatment, so.
So, I'm really
nervous right now.
I have...
I'll be leaving at
seven in the morning.
Supposed to be there
checking into a Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder clinic.
There'll be 32 other vets
that went through
so much situations
and things like I have,
and
hopefully, after 22 days,
I'll come out a happier
and better person.
And not feel so
anxious all the time.
(downtempo music)
For the first week, you get to
write your impact statement.
Write everything down as far as
what was going on with our life.
Here's why I'm here.
Basically, it talks
about my traumas.
Not specific traumas, but,
what had effected on my life.
What things were
different with me,
and how I reacted
to my environment
and the people around me.
Just the way I viewed my life.
(apprehensive music)
And I wrote down,
I didn't really enjoy
the things I like to do.
I just started becoming
really distant from my family,
my friends.
I kinda pulled away
from my spouse.
We got divorced.
In the restaurant, I had to
sit with my back to the corner,
make sure I could
see all the exits,
where the possible
threats were at.
Loud noises would trigger me
and I'd jump out of bed
and be on the floor.
I kinda hit rock bottom.
Debating on taking my
own life at one point.
And just was really
depressed all the time,
in and out of relationships.
Family didn't really understand,
and maybe thought I was
mad at them or whatever.
Wasn't the case at all.
(slow electronic music)
It's extremely hard to
write your impact statement.
It's kinda coming to
term with yourself,
looking yourself in the mirror.
It's very key
to starting the entire
process, actually.