That first time of having the words come out was the scariest.

That first time of
having the words come out,

was the scariest

and...

one of the most, uh-

I don't want to say comforting.

It wasn't comforting.

It just felt like

I'd been holding it in

so long

that just telling somebody,

that, "This is why I'm a crazy person."

I mean, I think I even said that to her.

And I'm like,

"Well, the reason I'm a crazy person

is (exhales)

'cause I'm remembering this stuff

that happened so long ago.

that it makes no sense.

That happened a really long time ago.

It's gone, it's over.

I've processed it."

And she goes, "You've processed it?"

"And yeah, I've learned to live with it."

And she goes, "Obviously, you haven't."

And that's when I needed,

that's when I knew I
really needed the help.

Because I thought I
had figured it all out.